Last week was about new beginnings and working towards new beginnings through the coming time of Chiron and Mercury retrograde.
This week brings a partial lunar eclipse in Capricorn (gate 61.4) that fits into the Chiron retrograde in gate 17.3 like the key to the lock.
13 July 2019 10:05 UTC: Beginning of the new week (gate 62)
Detail work, exploring the occult, mystery and inner truth.
- 14 July 2019 14:51 UTC: Sun in 188.8.131.52 (Cancer) opposite Pluto R in 184.108.40.206 (Capricorn)
Problematic: Fears might be holding us back from our purpose and from taking the necessary steps. People might lack the detail and lack the concentration for detailed attention and then spread messages and beliefs that aren't thorough. They also might simply talk nonsense all day, in disregard whether someone is interested in it or not.
Productive: Investigation. Getting to the truth. Attracting others to knowledge through having the details together or through having the discipline for detail work, but at the same time being able to explain the sum of these details in simple ways.
Honoring one's right committments – or not. A need for Patience, Admittance and Forgiveness of Past Mistakes
- 16 July 2019 7:44 UTC: Venus in 220.127.116.11v (Cancer) waning quincunx Jupiter R in 18.104.22.168 (Sagittarius)
Problematic: Oversensitivity and disillusionment with what is and what was. Being overly critical and constantly bickering about all that went wrong. Sometimes there is a good reason to be pessimistic and careful with certain calculated people, but often times also there isn't and things just go wrong without anyone intending them to do so. Often times this will be the feminine energy having been hurt or disappointed by the masculine who now recognized their errors and wants to reconcile. Often, the feminine energy might have a real challenge and irrational difficulties with that messy past. She might be tempted to rather move on half-heartedly than to face the difficulties within an otherwise authentic and potentially very fufilling relationship and beginning. This can mean to sacrifice a soul mate for something less hurtful or frictuous, but also something half-hearted and less emotionally invested.
Sometimes there might also be smaller errors and mistakes within our existing relationships, that are being admitted, and that we better don't get stuck on too badly. This could be a time where it's easy to be obsessed and overcritical over things that ultimately don't matter, instead of simply letting them go. For example you might be grumpy at your mum for always forgetting your distaste for almonds and baking you an almond cake. We might be obsessing over errors that lead to a traffic accident instead of simply being happy that everybody survived the accident.
Productive: The feminine energy learning to overcome past pain, dissatisfaction and impatience. Being discrete with what happened, honoring one's commitments. Moving towards new beginnings through patience and recognizing one's place in the flow. It might not seem as if anything is moving and the point is to be patient with it nonetheless. Hearing each other out and talking things through might be very important during this time – as opposed to simply relying on the other person to naturally know what's up. People might not look as if they are hurting over what happened, but actually they are.
Lunar Eclipse – Being Fixed on Researching Hidden Truth. New Chapter in Relationships. Winning the Uncommitted Over. Patience with Oneself, with Others and with Past Mistakes. Surrendering to Slow New Beginnings with Powerful People and Forces.
- 16 Jul 2019 21:38 UTC: PARTIAL LUNAR ECLIPSE in 61.4.4 CONJUNCT PLUTO R in 61.2.1^; next to South Node in 22.214.171.124 conjunct Saturn R in 54.2.5^, and North Node in 126.96.36.199 conjunct Venus in 188.8.131.52 (Saturn opposite Venus), Mercury R in 56.6.4, Neptune in 22.2.4 trine the North Node, Mars in 33.2.6 trine Chiron in 17.3.2, Uranus R in 184.108.40.206 widely squaring the Nodes // 4/6 Cross of Maya (!)
(Black Moon Lilith of the previous corresponding new moon: 37.1.6 (Pisces)
(Black Moon Lilith of THIS full moon: 37.3.5 (Pisces)
A part of the Venus-quincunx-Jupiter-energy also carries over into the Lunar Eclipse and thus into the coming months. Especially there will be a need for patience within new beginnings. It can also bring the arrival or return of someone who investigated the data and hidden truths in detail, and who came to recognize that they erred and that their initial position was wrong.
These can be major events happening over the coming months, but they don't have to be. It can be as simple as your co-worker telling you, that they had a mystical experience or that they recently experienced synchronicities – and now they see that you are not as nuts as they used to think. Now they understand what you were always talking about. Now they want to know more about crystals or about their design.
It might help to call the socratic paradox to mind and to share it with those who feel bad over having gotten it wrong: "I know that I know nothing." Learning never ends.
This surrender to truth and to relationships with powerful or superior forces, from which we can learn, is only the first step. That is essential to recognize. In most cases it does not mean that from one day to the other your whole life changes for 180 degrees. In the highest potential, the transits point to SLOW new authentic beginnings and commitments where there is a lot of investigation, detailed attention and patience needed. There might be a lot of work to be done and challenges to be had and resolved. Especially if there is a very difficult and painful past with somebody that needs to be overcome and healed, it will take time and patience to work through that.
If it is a new beginning together with another person who isn't fully balanced yet, they might have understood their errors and finally turned towards you in order to learn – but they might still display insensitivity, inappropriate action and attempts to challenge your boundaries. And vice versa. For a while it might not feel good and you might feel misunderstood and emotionally left out, although you want nothing more than to make it work and to feel home. That's a generalization of course, and it doesn't have to be like that, but it certainly is a likelihood under these transits. There might be a lot of frustration with working through emotional and behavioral patterns. There might be a lot of friction and difficulty that needs to be resolved before the relationship can settle. Yet, if we approach it in a committed way, there is a huge likelihood for it to be very productive, healing, loyal and deep.
You will benefit from clearly knowing, enforcing and communicating your boundaries, so that the other person can learn to understand your perspective and adjust to the needs of the situation. They might not do things on purpose, they simply might not know better. Communication is very important with this eclipse's energy. To me, it also seems to be beneficial to have little expectations when working together with people. Sometimes, collaborations might not always be as productive as we wish them to be. They might confuse or distract us more than help us. Not everyone is right for us to collaborate with, especially when there is no shared focus that can make it productive. You might be looking for a way to secure your house from lightening and what people offer you is a way to make it safe for earthquakes, floods and gas attacks. If that happens to you, don't take it personal, it's just the global energy that invites us to be more self-reliant and independent – where possible.
Even when there is a shared focus, you can and will find truth through people, but ultimately they can't infuse you with their knowing as if they were sticking a ready-to-go USB stick into your brain. You still have to take enough alone time to do the reflection and research for yourself, so that it can really sink in. You can support each other, but ultimately each one of you has to do the work necessary for personal progress. Collaboration might help, but not indefinitely. Not every answer can be found through other people, especially your own truth can only be found inside.
Thus, the following months will lead more people into alone time and into withdrawal from social contact and outdated structures in order to explore their inner truth, or in order to concentrate on the detail work ahead of them.
That means: when you talked something through with someone and they withdraw from contact, then they probably need that reflection time. It might not be a clever choice to panic and break the bond out of paranoia and being afraid of being ghosted and left. If you are constantly stimulated and in action, there is little space to wake up and to become aware. This also applies to partnerships and hanging out together 24/7. There can not be inner renewal when there is no alone time being taken. Periodically taking alone time and a bit of distance from the world is a good thing. It anchors you into your own energy and brings you back to yourself. It makes all the difference. It might be a long road that offers little excitement, but it is absolutely worthwhile.
Responsibilities and old obligations versus new relationship cycles and beginnings. True caring at an emotional distance. The feminine energy in a bulletproof glass bubble
- 17 July 2019 5:34 UTC: Venus in 220.127.116.11 (Cancer) opposite Saturn R in 18.104.22.168^ (Capricorn)
18 July 2019 0:45 UTC: Venus conjunct North Node in 22.214.171.124 (Cancer)
18 July 2019 18:03 UTC: Venus in 126.96.36.199v (Cancer) trine Neptune R in 188.8.131.52 (Pisces)
There are a lot of ways these aspects can play out. They are also part of the eclipse energy. They can bring in new people in regards to both: career and romance. Yet, they can put people on guard even with their soul family: "Even if I honor my commitment - will they?" It can bring the necessary distance to explore inner truth and occult knowledge.
Generally, it can make all the difference if there is space to allow a healthy distance out of which we can observe, orient ourselves and slowly grow closer together – instead of sticking together instantly and then crashing because it was too quick and intense.
The feminine energy might know where to go, but it doesn't mean that she can go there instantly and skip steps (Chiron retrograde and Jupiter in 5.5 being a reference to the 5.5's in the Rave New Year). Also, she might be more distanced from worldly things and have a greater perspective on love and values within her new beginnings – thus she could be more reserved to see if it truly matches, if it aligns with purpose and if it brings her what she deserves or if it is below her standards. Many might have a more hold back, careful and responsible approach. On the problematic side there can be frustration, disillusionment, feeling alone and being overly closed off.
Problematic: Being closed off, frozen and lonely. Keeping people away at arms length, being afraid of betrayal and then creating that situation oneself by fearfully dropping out, only to find oneself in another situation that might be even less fulfilling. Potentially not even seeing how one created that situation and gossiping about the other person.
Not feeling worthy enough for what we truly want, not feeling worthy enough for something very fulfilling, committed and soulful. Being overly concerned with one's social status and with the damage our social image might take if we went for those new beginnings that we truly desire. (If that status was based on a partial error to begin with, the best that we can give to ourselves and also as impact to the world is a correction towards individual freedom and authenticity). Old obligations, false responsibilities, inauthentic commitments and expired life cycles might be keeping us in denial and keeping us away from exploring new beginnings of a higher meaning. Those responsibilities might give us a sense of reliability and stability, but they might not be in integrity with what we truly feel. They might require that we suppress essential part of ourselves. In the worst case scenario we might be sticking with people who keep us small, who try to lure us away from our purpose, who aren't in alignment with our life purpose, who even talk us down and who make us feel like a failure. Vice versa, when we don't pay attention, we might be overly quarrelsome and making people feel like a failure.
Productive: Recognizing that stay and pretend isn't working. Working through all the old stuff that keeps us from going for what calls us and what truly resonates with us. Acknowledging what we truly want. Clearly understanding what we want in love, clearly seeing what we need for our relationships to be purposeful. Recognizing our soul tribe. Understanding what kind of relationships can align with our direction in life, yet being hold back by karma, obligations or simply time. Patiently working through everything that holds us back and resolving it. Figuring out how to approach new beginnings without being absolutely irresponsible with the old. Being discrete about past mess ups and generally handling new beginnings discretely. Not taking advantage of informal knowledge and interactions. Being considerate and careful.
This can bring in strong and incredibly blessed relationships, that often might require a lot of work or time to see it blossom. Delays and a long road – but potentially a very blessed path and outcome.
19 July 2019 7:05 UTC: Mercury R enters Cancer
Announcement: Fool on the Hill
I'm putting the analysis work on hold. The analyses have served their purpose for now. They have stopped to be efficient and started to be more of a drain and burden than a help with where I want to go. I now need to be fully focusing on actually creating some tools that I have been forever wanting to create. I closed down the shop on Transparent Matrix for now. However, there is a hypothetical exception:
If you are at a point where you feel you want continuous coaching, support or advise on your journey, feel free to hit me up and we can hop on camera and see if we are a fit! At the moment I'm just not excited to hop from person to person anymore, even if it is a punctuated cycle analysis for a returning client. At the moment I'm looking for less fluctuation in people to work with. Working with someone over a period of time sounds great, though. So whether you are going through a stressful divorce, whether you are looking to organize and manage your employees in the best ways, whether you are looking for knowing yourself or whether you simply are an extremely curious person with energy and time to invest in exploring the matrix – if you look for someone to accompany you through it and to open up new insights and depths to you, shoot me a message. If there is a real need and interest for my expertise, I'm going to happily answer that. I'm also open to workshops and speaking gigs at bigger events in case they should come. However, I'm simply not actively looking right now. As long as I don't receive any requests for either a period of coaching or for something of bigger scope, I'll just silently work on my tools until I will have reached some milestones and until I will feel the need to refocus. For now I'm going to take the fool on the hill approach.
Don't be looking out for new tool sets on the website though, it's probably going to take me a couple of months. It is like writing a book: it takes time and you can only read it after it has been printed.
Also, I haven't really figured out the scope of the project, I'm just going to start with the most basic and urgent things, that I have collected over the recent years. At the moment I'm feeling pretty successful and positive with programming and I'm projecting the current accomplishments into the future optimistically. Yet, only time will show what's possible and at what speed.
As for the journey up until now: Thank you for having booked me in the past. Thank you for having returned for analyses that go beyond your personal natal chart. Thank you for having recommended me. Thank you for your trust, and in many cases also thank you for doing it despite distrust and for your great feedback and positive surprise afterwards. Thank you for having donated to me. Thank you for all of these things, and thank you for having crossed my path and having been a part of it, I really appreciate it!
Especially receiving a donation is always an emotionally comforting thing because of the recognition and the energetic balance that comes with it. But it also is a very practical thing in that it helps buying food. I'm now eating up the money I have left (not literally), so if you have sent me money, know that your donation is in good use: it's fueling my endeavors of creating new tool sets in Human Design and astrology. Tools that don't have been available up until now and that might not become available if I didn't create them 🙂 (my 45.2 Sun and purpose is to find and create new techniques for common interest).
Thank you so much for your support!
The shop is closed, but the contact form is still open. I will continue to post the reports. Thank you for sharing them and spreading the word!